Self Doubt

Up until the last six months of working at the grocery store it was a comfortable life. I have the rotund belly to prove it. I worked eight to four, had health insurance, and vacation lined up. I was able to talk how I wanted. If I got angry, people understood it. I busted my ass, but I knew what I was doing. I was able to get people to help me. we were mostly able to work for a common goal.

The last six months was hell on Earth, but that’s a different post.

The day I got laid off, I went to a place that already had interviewed at and I got a job.

It’s a whole different environment. It’s overnights. I have no clue what I’m doing.

The Money is good though.

I only worked a few days before it closed due to covid precautions.

Well the impatients are getting ancy and looks like the place is going to open up again. so I’ve been trying to stay awake overnight and I have trouble. The moment I embark on the night, it wakes sort the childhood whininess that I have been trying to fend off since I left home. But I feel like something is taken away from me. It makes me wonder how long I can do these overnights.

Then again who knows how long it’s going to be open this time. Maybe I can make a few bucks to put away and find a simpler job.

Or maybe I’ll be plucked from obscurity by the hand of God

who knows.