10/03/2017

Edit: okay. No time to sit in front of the computer and hash things out. But here. I found the draft from yesterday. I found it. Yup yup yup. Also. I recorded a half hour babblefest yesterday. I will get it up. I promise  

This place is getting dusty.  Where did the summer go?  It feels like it was just April 19th.  Well.  Looks like I have a lot to answer for don't I.

Well After my last blog post and I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you people.  There was a lot of booze and pizza.  I'm going to tell you what.  It is easy to fall into old habits and self destructive patterns and thinking. 

It's like one moment I was doing fine, making progress in my world.  Working on my website, working on my body, and working on my mind.  Then one thing leads to another and it rains for a week and look at me.  Progress out the window.

Look.  I'm less than a perfect human.  I do my job eight hours a day five days a week.  But it's what happens before and after work that really count.  Should I get a second job?  Should I be writing?  Should I be getting out there and being more social?  The quick answer is yes.  yes I should be.  There's no other way around it. But it's finding the energy to do it.  Also to not pay attention to impending doom and just focus on the self while there is still something there to maintain. 

Today I went ahead and made a step to change.  I got the ball rolling.  The need for 120 dollars surrounds me engulfs me even.  But it's a waiting game.  I've got what I need.  Now I just need money to send paperwork to someplace.  Can you imagine?  That was one of the reasons why I didn't go to University Of Nebraska Lincoln(which is slowly eating Lincoln Whole, but that's another story) I don't understand these application processes.  it's just paper.  It's just paper and I don't care what lies you have to tell yourself, the money is meaningless paper as well.  Anyway I'm waiting for money is what I'm trying to say.  Anyway, we'll talk again soon.  I promise. 

I wish I could type more from what I see on the news.  I wish I can write something thoughtful on what I see everyday.  But It's so volatile, maybe it's best for me to save what I think about the news for the podcast.  Because I don't like knee Jerk Reactions and I especially don't like them in type.  Because it all can be misinterpreted.  So Maybe I'll save to comments for my podcast.  Or not.  So what.  What's bad is bad.

Andyhoo.  What can I say.  I disappeared for months.  I'm sorry.  I let you all down.  My contract is to keep you updated with the goings on and I have been denying the rules of the contract and for that I am sorry. 

But I wrote a blog earlier and it didn't take so this is what you get today.

You'll hear from me again soon, I promise.

Alright.  Here is an update for 4/19/2017.

I'm beginning to realize that I'm starting to internet like a middle aged father.  It's a work in progress though.  I don't think it's an age thing(I hope) It's an Eliott thing.  With every new concept (such as hosting a website and podcast) I have to look at it, shy away in fear, ignore it to avoid failure, then start working on it, then work on it poorly, finally I get the hang of it and it becomes another skill.  But it takes a while in Eliott's world.  

I went to Lincoln to do familiar duties.  My father bought a boat and he needed a buddy to go and torture worms and small fish with. Which really what it was.  I'm NOT a fisherman, I'm NOT a hunter.  But If you're still talking to your pa and if he makes an effort to keep you in his life no matter how inadequate you feel as a son, or even a person, you have to make an effort as well.  

I saw an old high school friend while I was in Lincoln.  We went to the monday open mic night at Duffy's I got on pretty late.  I had fun though.  I found a pocket and stayed there.  

My Buddy Kent Masloskie does have some shows coming up and I'm going to share them with you.

4/29-at Bailey's local in Eagle, Nebraska

5/23- The largest city in Nebraska-Omaha, Nebraska Uncle Jack's drinkery

Saw him working on some stuff at Duffy's and that man has been putting his time in.  Go see him, have a few laughs and fun n' stuff

Last week I got into a bit of a funk, Usually my funks happen on payday.  Anyway, It's this feeling after not drinking, after not indulging in pizza, after not ruining a friendship and that friends relationship with their S/O, you wake up and you are still at the bottom.  you are still at square one.  you are ten feet deep under water looking at the sky move above you.  It is a selfish feeling.  It is an immediate feeling with no account to how I will feel in the future.  But that's how I felt.  You can live your whole life on the straight and narrow and one day someone hits you with their car while looking for a snorlax on their phone.

I did not post a podcast last week and I've been beating myself up about it.  I will have one later this week.  I promise.  

Have a good'un

-E-