I am hunkered down. Awaiting the time to work. This is to be the coldest week of (hopefully) winter. And so, I am at the mercy of people giving me rides ( I'm not on a death mission) I don't like asking for rides. My problems shouldn't be their problems. 

I'm nervous about change. I've been keeping my head down for years. Part of me wants to stay in arrested development, victim of Peter pan syndrome. And stuffing my high cheek bones in sand. But it needs to happen. Old Eliott needs to look back next 2018 with pride. Not with resentment at that young Eliott wasting time.  

Ive been following National and World News the last two days. So much pain and uncertainty caused by world leaders. These are getting more vocal. We can fight and chase leaders from office after office like viewing meme after meme. Or we can become better at governing ourselves until a leader is no longer necessary. Or maybe I'm still thinking with a youthful heart.  

Can we stop killing animals for their aphrodisiac properties please?  

Take care

-E- 

First of all I the CEO of Hey Eliott dot Com apologize for the lack of content.  At the very root of it, is laziness. Ignoring a promise I made to myself. I am not good at self punishment, I need a gargantuan with a paddle living with me to keep me on the up and up. By ignoring this part of my life the person who will pay the most is 44 year old Eliott. 44 year old Eliott, I shall not do to you what 25 year old Eliott did to me.  

I Shall not call my promises to myself New Years resolutions. Because any failure on my part could read to my mind as a failure to the year and therefore can be written off the rest of the year.  Therefore they are promises to live a life with better introspection to my actions in any aspect. The tough thing will be thinking before I speak. 

Anyway. The gargantuan is getting impatient.  

Talk to you soon,  

-E- 

Sitting here in Lincoln at this, the place of my birth, one the day after Thanksgiving.  cupacoffee on my right, a bottle of water on my left.  Behind that bottle of water is a Hershey's Syrup bottle with the lid flipped open.  I'm not sure.  But if I had to surmise what is going on with that is that my nephew was allowed to drink out of the top like it was a water bottle.  Which may be wrong.  Someone may have had milk last night.  

Family is a tough sell for me.  I participate because it is what is required of me.  But the anxiety permeates through me.  My mom has been asking for a Grandchild from me.  I don't know if she's serious.  I hope she's not serious.  I have no desire.  I met my Niece and she's scared of me, which I'm fine with.  But She pooped twice.  Now I know if it is your child, cleaning up poop is no problem.  But still.  I don't want to do that.  Listen to Bob Dylan's "That ain't me you're looking for babe."

My Grandma and Aunt stopped by.  My Grandma is Ninety-Two and her memory is slipping.  But she's okay.  My Father and Aunt didn't think she was going to make it to this year.  But She's got some strong stock.  My Mom's side has strong genes as well,  But they generally don't take care of themselves well. (I.E the Hershey's syrup bottle).  My Aunt is still astounded by my poor spending habits,  she doesn't understand why I don't want to make a sandwich and eat half, and save the other half until the next day.  

My father tried to throw his politics into the air. But no one bit.  His news comes from the Drudge report.  So most of the things he says can easily be fact checked using snopes or a google search.  (i.e no go zones in France) I totally understand the fear of the other.  I even have it to a lesser extent.  And am trying to iron that out of my mind.  But he's easy to argue with.  He won't get his hackles raised very easily.

My mom is still watching the same crime shows she's been watching for the last ten years.  She should get a job as a detective by now.  She knows how to solve every crime imaginable.  

As for me.  I just got paid, so my money is burning a hole through my pocket.  I'll try to refrain.  

Andyhoo,

Take care,

-E-